A Wirehaired Rant

It may just be the egg-nog talking, but I feel a rant coming on. Please bear with me.

OK, here's the deal. Over the last few weeks, the average daytime temperature in Winnipeg has been about 3 degrees colder than the surface of the planet freaking Neptune...in a blizzard. In fact, it was so cold last night that a torch-carrying mob actually built a large bonfire out of the carcasses of several local TV weather announcers.

So what can be done to stave off the winter blues? Well you can try roasting marshmallows over a weatherman fueled bonfire. Or you can write. That's right: write. It works for me. In the last couple of weeks, I've finished a good chunk of the never-ending book project. Today I jotted down some more ideas, corrected a few faux-pas and ignored the fact that sitting at a computer for 22 hours a day is a great way to grow a beer gut and build a spongy layer of flab on my formerly skinny ass.

Anyway, I digress...

Today I've been writing about the Deutsch Drahthaar. A heck of a cool gundog breed from, you guessed it, Deutschland a.k.a Germany. And as usual, I spent a lot of time working my way through breed books and digging around the interweb checking facts and figures in an effort to find out just what makes the breed tick. At some point, I ended up on the AKC website. I wish I hadn't.

What I found there was a "description" of the Drahthaar that defies description. It is easly among the worst pieces of pure bovine scheiss I have ever had the displeasure of reading. It is such a funky mix of half-truths, contradictions and fluff that it makes a Sarah Palin press conference sound like Ghandi reading the Bhagavad Gita.

I recommend to whomever wrote it that he/she
1. Head straight back to his/her highschool and sue the English, history and geography departments for criminal negligence and
2. Actually check into a breed before spouting off about it.

Happy Festivus.